Never Can Say Goodbye
by Grey'sDreamBeliever
Summary: Beware spoilers for nonuk viewers, upcoming storylines written in one of the many ways I want them to happen.
1. Chapter 1

'Right, so I think that's pretty much everything you need to know. DS Turner and DC Desari will be co-ordinating, so if you need anything else, or you find anything that may help the investigation they're the ones you need to inform.' Jack Meadows finished addressing Sun Hill CID, and a few of them stood up to leave.

'Wait a minute guys,' Phil Hunter stood up and called for everyone's attention, 'before everyone leaves there is something I have to say.' He put his hand on his head and wiped away the sweat beads that were forming. His heart was beating heavily and everyone could see he was held under some kind of strain.

'Last week, I had a meeting with the Super, and after much deliberation, I've decided to move on. I'm not quite sure where to, or exactly when, but I just want to say that when I do I want it to be quiet. I don't want any fuss. That's all I wanted to say.'

'I can't believe it. You're part of the furniture here. I'm gonna miss you Romeo' Jo gave Phil a big hug. She was being sincere for once. She really was going to miss him. Jack, Kezia and Grace, even Stuart, offered their congratulations and filed out of the room back into the main office. Phil turned around expecting to see Sam waiting for a hug and kiss on the cheek. As he turned he noticed the room was empty and the door onto the main corridor slammed shut.

He opened the door and looked to the right, expecting to see Sam heading down to the front desk, but there was no one around. He looked to the left to see if she had gone for a drink, and saw Sam sat on the floor leaning against the wall, with her head resting on her knees. She had her arms wrapped tightly around herself. He didn't know what to say, but couldn't summon the right words, so he sat on the floor beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. Slowly, she looked up and asked:

'Have you thought about it?'

Phil nodded his head and smiled. It wasn't a real smile, more of an admittance.

'This is the kind of thing you usually talk to me about.' This was true. Lately he had been able to tell her anything, and she felt the same way about him.

'I knew if I mentioned it, you would talk me out of it' he eventually confessed.

'If I would have been able to, that would mean you didn't 100 want to go…' She wanted to continue but couldn't find the right words.

He hated it when she new more about him than he knew about himself.

'I didn't mean that, I just mean…oh I don't know what I meant. But this is the right thing for me to do. I'm sure of it.' He wasn't just saying this for her, he was trying to persuade himself this was true.

'You don't sound so sure. You're not convincing me.'

He knew she was right, _again. _She was always right.

'I've still got to work out my notice.' He tried to make her look on the bright side.

'Oooh, one month, whoopee doo. Her voice was flat, she couldn't even manage sarcasm.

'I'll keep in touch'. He was clutching at straws now. He just wanted her to be happy.

'You don't sound too sure about that either. You can't make that promise, when even I know you won't keep it.' He knew too that he shouldn't promise these things, but couldn't think of a reply to reassure her that he meant it.

'I've seen this all before,' she continued. 'Even Jo couldn't keep in touch from Manchester.'

'But you used to speak to Jo all the time on the phone, and you sent texts and emails and stuff…'

'Yeah, we did at first. But then she'd be busy, or I'd be busy, and it just got put on hold. At least Jo came back…' she hoped he would say he was going to come back too.

'Well I might come back' he offered. She had warned him against making these promises, yet she was going to live in hope that he meant it.

'And you might not.' He couldn't deny it. She had known him too long.

After a brief silence, she continued her attack on him.

'If leaving is what would make you truly happy then I would support you, I wouldn't want you to stay. But the way I see it, you're trying to make a fresh start in a new life…'

'Yes that's exactly it.' He said, hoping she was beginning to understand his decision.

'But you won't be truly happy if you leave unfinished business behind.' She broke eye contact as she feared she might cry. He took hold of both of her hands in one hand, and placed the other gently on her arm.

'Sam, _we_ aren't unfinished. You finished it, remember.' He didn't mean to hurt her, but she was screaming inside.

'Not because I wanted to' she snapped at him.

He was shocked. He thought he had taken too far by telling her that he loved her. He had pushed things too quickly and she had been scared, _hadn't she?_

'I didn't do it because I wanted to. I just didn't want you to break my heart. I finished it so you wouldn't.' Her tone was softer now. Tears had formed in her eyes but hadn't yet fallen.

Phil was speechless. He had told her that he loved her. Apart form Cindy, he had never said that before. And he had certainly never felt it before. He had told Cindy because she had prompted him to say it. He had told Sam because it was how he felt.

You've got a whole new life ahead of you.' she said, trying to change the subject.

He looked into her eyes and smiled.

'You'll make loads of new friends.' She tried to pretend to be happy for him.

'None of them will match up to you' he said, still smiling.

'Anyway' said Sam, pushing herself up. 'You've got one month left to work, and about three months work to do before then so we best get back to it.' She smiled to show him she was only half joking. She held out her hand to help him get up, as his leg was still hurting from his shenanigans at Specialist Crimes.

'It was really brave of you to jump in you know, putting yourself through this pain.' She turned away and bit her lip to stifle a giggle.

'Yeah. Well, you know. All in a day's work and all that.' He blushed a little.

'Well yes, but it really hurts doesn't it.' She smiled again.

'Only a bit. It isn't a constant pain though. I'll survive.' He returned her smile and started to walk away.

'Oh, Phil' she called after him, as if she had suddenly remembered she had something to tell him.

He turned back and waited for her to say something.

'Did I tell you about last weekend?' a wide grin spread across her face.

'No I don't think you did, why?'

'We'd had a really good result, and were celebrating at the Seven Bells. The weather was really nice so we were sat in the beer garden, and everyone was a bit drunk, but Terry was absolutely smashed. We were all egging each other on, and he was trying to recreate this thing he had seen on telly.'

A cold feeling ran through Phil's body. He had a feeling he knew where this story was going. He tried to act casual.

Sam carried on with her story. 'He had a pint glass in each hand, and ran towards this bench. We all thought he was going to clear it but he just fell.' By this point Sam was in stitches. Phil was still trying to be coll.

'Yeah' sounds funny.

'Oh it was hilarious. I wish you would have been there.' She rested her hand on his arm, but was doubled up with laughter.

'Yeah me too. Look I've got to go on. You gave me an order, right? Loads to do and no time to do it, yeah?' It was impossible for him to hide his embarrassment.

'Phil, I know. Grace told me all about it. I'm sorry, but why didn't you just say.'

'Well it sounds a bit pathetic doesn't it? I mean, I was being a prize prat, I just didn't want anyone to think I couldn't handle my drink.'

'But we love you… I mean… we all like you the way you are. And we've all been out together with uniform haven't we. We all know you can take more than your fair share, especially when Gina starts inventing those games.' She had nearly said we love you, but she had recovered it just in time. She didn't think he had noticed.

'I suppose so. Listen I'm sorry about this morning. Why don't we go out for a drink later? I promise I won't be doing anything acrobatic, it's just a drink. What do you say?'

'I say that sounds really nice. You don't have to be sorry. It was me behaving like a spoilt brat. I just thought after everything, you know, you might have mentioned it to me before everyone else.'

'I know I should have, and if I would have known how much it meant to you I would have. I swear. I guess I just didn't have it straight in my mind, and then I just had to take the chance to tell everyone whilst we were all together. It was a bit insensitive wasn't it? When you were promoted you had the decency to tell me and Stuart…'

'Forget it. Let's save it for tonight.' She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then made her excuses and scuttled off, along the corridor, down the stairs and out f the building, leaving Phil alone with his thoughts, only able to watch her leave. It seemed that was all he had been able to of late. They could have a proper catch up though. Tonight.

_**Please let me know if you like/dislike it, love/hate it. I've had fun writing it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

At 6p.m. they arrived at the Seven Bells. It was packed full of people.

'Oh, I forgot football was on' Phil sounded disappointed.

'Oh well' Sam tried to sound cheerful. 'You stay here and watch it.

I'll just get a cab home. I don't mind, honestly.' She said, dishonestly.

'No, I didn't mean that. It's just that there are no tables. You can't have a proper night out stood at the bar. Come on.' He took hold of her hand and dragged her back outside to the car.

'Where are we going? I haven't got any food in. We can't go back to mine.' Sam was ashamed to admit she had been too busy to shop for stuff lately.

'Well my house is a mess, so we're not going back there. It's just a good job I always have a second plan.'

He held the car door open for her to get in, but refused to tell her where they were going.

_**I know it's really short so I posted it with chapter 3, 'cause I needed to break it up. Please RnR**_


	3. Chapter 3

They'd had the perfect night out. Phil had been a real gentleman, holding doors for her, pulling out her chair for her, standing up whenever she left the table.

They'd spent the whole evening reminiscing about everything they'd been through together. And they didn't argue once, until it came to paying the bill. She immediately offered to pay half, but he wouldn't accept. He wouldn't let her pay the service charges, or even a tip.

'It was my idea. I invited you. I'll pay' he insisted.

As the taxi pulled up outside Sam's house, Phil instructed the driver to wait and escorted Sam to her door. She was grateful for all of this. She wanted to invite him in, but feared it could all go wrong when it got to _that_ awkward moment.

He walked her up the steps and waited for her to find her keys. She took them out of her bag and turned to say goodnight, but Phil met her lips with a kiss. He kissed her slightly longer than he should have done, but not so long that she had to push him away. He pulled back, said 'goodnight' and kissed her on the head.

He got back into the taxi and waited for her to go indoors before asking the driver to take him home.


	4. Chapter 4

She got in work early the next morning. Even earlier than usual. It wasn't for any reason, apart from the fact she had woken up early and not been able to get back to sleep. She couldn't wait until Phil came in.

She didn't have to wait too long. He was uncharacteristically early, getting in before anyone else. He took the opportunity to speak to her alone, before he had to start some real work. Well, before she started real work and he pretended.

'I really enjoyed last night' he said, as she allowed him into her office.

'Me too' she agreed, with a gentle smile playing on her lips.

'Good. It just felt to me like we were back to normal. I don't know about you…' he prompted.

'Yes it was lovely.' She was kind of hoping this was leading somewhere.

'I'm glad we could go back to that. I thought I might have ruined it all.'

'No not at all. It was a really beautiful night. I really enjoyed it.'

'I'm so glad we're back to being us, you know, more than best friends. The way it used to be before I messed it up. It's a really fitting goodbye gift.' His phone began to ring. 'Sorry, I really have to get this, it's Kate.' He shut the door behind him and made his way back to his desk. It's a good job he didn't give her a chance to speak, as she didn't know what she would have said.

_Goodbye? Surely last night had changed everything._ Part of the reason she hadn't been able to get back to sleep this morning was because last night had been playing on her mind. She had assumed that the kiss last night had meant more than goodbye. To her it had meant he felt the same way for her as she felt for him. To her it had meant there was a future for them, together. A kiss like that didn't just mean goodbye.

_**Thanks for reading. More chapters up on Monday. There's nine in total so I could have it all up by Wednesday. RnR**_


	5. Chapter 5

The next three weeks crawled by for Sam. She barely ate, slept or spoke to Phil. She barely spoke to anyone, aside from giving orders.

She had given Jo £50 to put towards a leaving gift for Phil, as she was collecting for a present off everyone in CID. Jo noticed that this was more than twice what anyone else had given. Sam had also booked a function room at the White Swan Hotel just outside of Canley for a party. Nobody knew it, but she had paid for the room herself, and put Mickey in charge of everything else. He was under strict instruction to keep all mention of a party away from Phil. She had given Mickey a list of instructions and ideas, ranging from balloons and decorations to a cake, but it was just a list. She had provided all the ideas, but that was all. She wasn't going to have anything else to do with it. After all, who organises a party they're not going to attend?


	6. Chapter 6

Sam had put on her scruffiest, comfiest pair of pyjamas and made herself as comfortable as possible on the sofa. She was willing her mind to settle down and watch the DVD she had put on, but it was impossible. Her imagination was running wild; she didn't even know what movie she was supposed to be watching.

She glanced at her watch. _Seven thirty. _They would all be there by now. Everyone was to get there for seven, and Mickey would tell Phil they were just going for a drink there at quarter past. _I wonder if he likes it. He had said he didn't want any fuss, but I know Phil. He loves a party. Correction, I knew Phil._

The phone interrupted her thoughts. _Phil_ flashed up on the screen. She ignored the call. What could she say to him? _I don't want you to go._ He'd made it perfectly clear it was what he wanted. _I'm gonna miss you. _He already knew that. _I love you. _She couldn't say that. It was true, but it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

Sam tried concentrating on the film, but it was no good. Her phone rang again. This time it was Mickey.


	7. Chapter 7

'Hi' Sam tried, but failed, to sound happy.

'So it's just me you don't want to speak to then?' Phil's voice came flooding through.

'Erm…I…er…I'

'Sam, why aren't you here' his voice sounded gentle and pleading.

She had so much to say, but the words just couldn't find a way out.

'Mickey told me what you've done. None of this would be happening if it wasn't for you.'

'Are you having a good time' she managed to push the words out.

'It would be the perfect party if you were here. This is your party, so you better get over here and take the glory. And you'd better have a smile on your face' he teased.

'I don't think that's a good idea Phil.'

'Are you wearing your grey pyjamas?' he asked.

'No' she lied, badly.

'Well then I think coming here is the best idea. Put your black dress on…'

'Which black dress? She cut in. She was slightly warming to the idea of being able to say a proper goodbye.

'The long one, with no back. It goes with the silver shoes, and looks _really_ nice. If you're not here in an hour I'm going to come and get you.'

Her mind was racing. The idea was being weighed up. _Why did he have to do this to her. As if saying goodbye this afternoon at work wasn't hard enough, she was going to end up going through the trauma of it all again. _

'I can't come Phil' she said in a tiny voice, to disguise the fact her voice was trembling.

'Why not?' he asked, practically begging.

She didn't reply.

'You know you want to' he was still teasing her. 'You've got one hour before I come and drag you over here…'

'No Phil' she shouted at him. 'Get the message. Goodbye' she threw the phone against the wall.

She didn't want to be so harsh, it was just…she didn't know what it was. One thing she did know was that Phil Hunter was never going to speak to her again.

_**Phil's POV**_

_That's it. I've blown it. I must have got it all wrong. Surely if she still loved me she would want to say goodbye. She'll never speak to me again, one thing's for certain. Maybe it's not such a bad thing that I'm leaving, I couldn't stand to stay around here if she wasn't speaking to me. I just don't get it. Why did she go to all of this effort to throw me a big goodbye party? Maybe she just couldn't wait to send me off._


	8. Chapter 8

A little over two weeks later, Sam was sat in her office feeling like she was working in the ticket office at Waterloo Station. Neil had taken two weeks off work, leaving her in sole charge of CID, so people were in and out of her office all day. On top of this, she had spent last week conducting interviews for a new DS to replace Phil. That really had broken her heart.

The new recruit wasn't as good as she had made herself out to be. DS Louise Cooper had knocked on Sam's door at least seven times today, and it was only 1 p.m. Admittedly one time had been to offer Sam a cup of coffee, (an offer she declined) but the other six times were for ridiculous reasons. She had forgotten the key code to the doors of CID, she couldn't change the toner in the photocopier, she had lost the directions Sam had given her to St. Hughes. As if Sam wasn't busy enough, she had to decline Louise's offer of coffee, and sneak to the coffee machine whilst Louise was out. She had made the mistake of accepting it yesterday and was presented with a cup of what looked, and tasted, like dishwater. Not that Sam had ever tasted dishwater. She shuddered at the thought of it.

Sam's computer made her jump as it bleeped. 'Email from: Jo Masters to CID' was the message on the screen. _**When I was going through the pictures of Phil's party I found some older photos from Kezia's Birthday and the Christmas Party (what a night). Thought I'd circulate them. Jo**_

There were three albums of pictures for everyone to download. 'Phil's Party' was the first folder Sam looked at. _Might as well get the heartbreak over with' _she told herself. She would have ignored it, but she knew eventually curiosity would get the better of her. The pictures were exactly what she had expected: Phil opening presents, Phil modelling the watch they had bought him, at least one picture of Phil and every member of the relief, the same with CID, Phil leaving the hotel at the end of the night with everyone waving him off… isn't that how all leaving parties go?

She had been to so many, she knew the drill. _Phil's would have been different though._

'Kezia's birthday' came next. It was last October. There were lots of pictures of Sam and Stuart with fake grins plastered on their faces. She had never really been happy with Stuart, she was settling for second best. And she knew it.

All of the others in that file were quite similar. _Kezia and Smithy kissing, Kezia and Smithy drunk, Mickey and Phil drunk, Gina surrounded by empty glasses with a cigarette in one hand, whilst making an obscene gesture at the camera with the other hand._

Sam hadn't been expecting to feel so much emotion looking at these photos, so she got a shock when it came to the Christmas ones. There was one picture she remembered clearly. Their waiter was stood at the head of the table, looking down at everyone smiling. Sam's hand was on the table, and Phil took hold of it as she leaned onto his shoulder. _Don't cry, don't cry _she kept telling herself. She wiped a tear from her cheek and moved on to more pictures.

People dancing, people hugging, Sam and Phil kissing when they thought no one was looking, Jack and Gina with Adam Okaro and Neil, Phil and Sam slow dancing, 34 shots lined up on the bar, Sam hugging Jo, Jo hugging Phil, Phil hugging Sam…_That was the first night together since Romania_ she remembered. They stayed at Phil's that night and then went Christmas shopping, before spending another night together at Sam's. They were together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at Phil's house. Sam went back home for Boxing Day as Abi and Jared were coming to stay, as was Sam's sister Caroline. Then Alfie has stayed with his dad for New Year. Sam had spent the odd few days with them, but she didn't see that much of Phil until he came back to work in the middle of January. _That was when…_

Sam's desk phone rang, bringing her back down to earth with a crash.

'Front Office' scrolled across the display, but she was unable to speak as tears were choking her.

Whoever was calling eventually took the hint that she wasn't answering and they finished the call, but literally seconds later there was a knock at the door.

_Can't I even cry in peace? Can DS flaming Cooper not do anything for herself?_


	9. Chapter 9

'One minute' she managed to shout out.

She wiped away the majority of her tears and hoped her mascara hadn't run. It had.

'Come in' she finally called, as she pretended to type.

'I've waited two weeks, I suppose an extra minute won't hurt' she heard a familiar voice say. She looked up to see Phil with a large suitcase by his feet and Alfie balanced on his hip.

'Boy am I glad to see you' she squealed with delight as she ran towards him and threw her arms around him.

'And hello to you too little man. I haven't seen you since before your birthday. How are you?' she asked Alfie.

'Fine thank you' he replied in a sweet little voice. Phil let Alfie down on the floor and gave Sam a proper hug.

'You won't want to take that back will you?' he asked as he kissed the top of her head.

'Take what back?' She stepped back but kept her hands on his stomach. She was confused.

'How glad you are to see us' he took hold of her hands.

'No. Why would I?' he wasn't making things any clearer for her.

'Well we need a favour don't we spud' he said, walking over to where his son had made himself comfy on Sam's chair, in front of her computer.

Alfie nodded and pointed at the display. It was Phil and Sam sharing a moment together at the party, again when they thought no one was looking. Phil suddenly understood why Sam had been crying.

'Well,' Phil dragged his words out, 'when I moved up to Liverpool, I had to sell my house'

'And now you need a place to stay' she clicked on.

'Only temporary, just until we find somewhere else' he begged.

'In that case no' she sounded firm. Phil was taken aback. He didn't think she would object, seeing how much she had missed him.

'If you move in with me, it's all or nothing _spud_' she mocked him.

They were interrupted by Alfie.

'Daddy, I need a drink again, please?' he asked.

Phil was still in sock at Sam's offer, or should that be demand. He just nodded and led his child over to the door. As he opened it he was confronted by a tall, skinny brunette he had never set eyes on before.

'Water please' he said blankly, before releasing his son into this strangers care.

She was a little dumbfounded, but led Alfie away all the same.

'Didn't waste anytime replacing me then?' he said jokingly as he turned back to Sam.

'Well you're welcome back anytime. We can never have too many DSs, and besides she's not a patch on you.'

Phil took hold of Sam around the waist and pulled her in towards him.

'Oh yeah' he said in between planting kisses on her neck.

'Yeah' she said, gently pushing him against the wall. 'She can't even make a decent cup coffee' she said with a smile.

Phil tried to look hurt, but couldn't disguise the fact he was so happy to return to Sun Hill.

'Can I ask you a question?' she said in a mischievous voice.

'Yes I did miss you, no I didn't meet anyone else, and yes we would love to move in with you.' He kissed her lightly.

'No it's not that. Those questions would have come later. I meant why have you brought Alfie back. You haven't abducted him have you?'

'No' he laughed, although he soon realised she wasn't joking.

'No. Part of the reason I moved up there was that it was only an hour away from him, and Kate and I were going to share custody. But Kate's pregnant and Alfie, given the choice, decided he wanted to come back with me. I mean who wouldn't want to live with me? On second thoughts, don't answer that.' He laughed nervously.

'Oh I do. But is it going to be a permanent arrangement?' she asked.

'Well you said it was all or nothing, so I guess so.'

'No, I meant is Alfie going to be staying put, or will he decide that you weren't the best choice and that he wants to go home.'

'Oh no, he said he wants to stay. He doesn't get on with _Martin_ or whatever his name is…'

'OK, that's settled. You'd better go home and unpack.' She took her keys out of her coat pocket and held them out in front of him

'On one condition' she said leaning in close.

'Anything' he whispered.

'You cook dinner' she said with a cute smile.

'Anything but that' he tried his luck

'Well it's up to you. I mean, I know Stuart's got a spare room going at the moment…'

'What would you like? Italian, Thai, Indian? You name it' he snatched the keys from her hand before she could change her mind.

'Surprise me' she said as he made his way towards the door and picked up his suitcase.

'Phil' she called after him as he was about to shut the door.

'Yes'

'There's one more condition' she smiled.

'Go on. I'm ready for it. Hit me. Washing, ironing, hovering, I'm up for anything.' He sighed.

'No it's nothing like that. It's just that you have to promise me you're not going to leave.'

'I swear. I'm back for good. Besides, I never was any good at goodbyes.'

**I couldn't let him leave, we have to make the most of him whilst he is here. Let me know what you think x x x**


End file.
